Our last Airbnb, though short, reminded us of a few things we miss: conversation and freedom. We planned our stay by Zambujeira do Mar for two nights as a brief transition between hanging with my parents in Lagos and our next longer chunk of time in Sintra. We expected little more than a suitable place to stay, but we drove away refreshed in unexpected ways.

For the kids, it’s hard to travel without a few acres in tow. We turn our wild children outside regularly at home, and our quiet street means we can leave them to their own devices. They are loud and messy and get into all sorts of trouble. It’s frustrating at times and results in obscene amounts of laundry, but it also uses up a good bit of their endless energy and creativity.

While traveling, the kids have mostly been confined to apartment life. We are constantly asking them to stop stomping and yelling, trying our best (with middling results on a good day) to be conscientious neighbors. We occasionally have a terrace or small yard that helps a bit, but it doesn’t compare to our yard and field at home. We visit playgrounds when we can and log quite a few walking miles while sightseeing, but it’s not the same as freedom and space for the kids. I’ve been taking our space at home for granted, I think, and I feel for all the kids in the world (and their poor parents) who can’t run and play freely on a regular basis.

Now, I have to pause to say I do see a downside of raising our kids this way. I look at other European kids, though they be few in number, and see mostly compliant, quiet miniature adults. They appear to be considerate and so much more aware of the people around them compared to our little animals. Most of the time I hardly even notice them, whereas my children’s every act demands attention. There has to be some cultural osmosis going on here, because we have instructed and corrected our kids constantly on such topics for their entire lives without getting the same result. We raise them to not feel like they are the center of the universe, but these European children appear to understand that lesson innately. Even the babies scream less than ours!

Back to Portugal – our last lodging came with a few acres of space, lots of kid toys, and enough distance from a quiet road. And a big bonus: a few friendly kids who were happy to play outside. The kids romped and roamed, and everything felt right with the world. In the brief time we were there they were outside until bedtime and rushed through breakfast to get outdoors – beautiful!

Meanwhile, our kind expat Belgian hosts made time to chat with us. We stood in the warm sunshine for quite some time, talking about kids and Portugal and expat life and Airbnb hosting, the entire conversation made possible by the amazing language skills of so many Europeans.

We left the conversation feeling so refreshed, and we realized that it had been a long time since we had had an in-person conversation with anyone other than each other or my visiting family. We had meaningful talks with one of our Albanian volunteering contacts, but that was almost two months ago! And with young kids consuming our lives, we already run at a deficit where adult conversation is concerned.

So Montana friends, forgive us if we talk your heads off when we return. It’s going to be hard to show some restraint! And if you cross paths with someone who needs a chance to chat, give that person the gift of your time and attention!